So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
