her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
