Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
