If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
