She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
