never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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