hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
foreskin is a definite game changer
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
