so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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