Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
