According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
