My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
