Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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