your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
