I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
its liver damage thursday
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
