you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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