One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
