We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
