I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
