i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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