Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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