Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
