it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
