i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
