I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
