i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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