they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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