Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
