I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
