Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
