rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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