Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
