I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
