Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
