nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
