you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
