Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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