By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
