I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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