The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
