Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
