You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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