**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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