dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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