there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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