More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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