He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
