hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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