So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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