epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
