Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm gonna fight the coyote
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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