i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
