I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
